Especially for Parents

News and Commentary by Sharon Secor
January 2004

Proactive, Positive and Practical

We witness daily the results of the ongoing efforts of pornographers to shape our culture and secure their financial success through this generation and the next. On Friday, January 16, 2004, Reuters reported that the number of child porn sites increased by 70 percent in 2003, with over 60 percent of these sites being based right here in the United States. Fortunately, these efforts at distorting the established norms of mainstream values are not going unchallenged, politically or socially. Through the committed work of individuals and organizations throughout the country, there is a growing body of literature demonstrating and detailing the destructive effects of pornography on society and family.

While much of this important work is academic in nature, aimed at collecting data for the purpose of providing a foundation for the legislative changes that we need to keep our families safe, a growing proportion of such writings are aimed specifically at parents and other readers, for the purpose of offering practical and effective solutions for the difficult and often overwhelming problem of pornography.

JoAnn Hibbert Hamilton, a parent, writer, educator and accomplished speaker, has made an excellent contribution to this body of information. Her book, To Strengthen the Family, published by Positive Values Publishing, is an invaluable asset to any parent raising children in our current cultural climate. With a writing style that is simple, direct and supportive, Hamilton’s book not only provides a wealth of information on how to prevent pornography from affecting the family, but also provides compassionate and practical means of helping families that are already struggling with such issues find their way to freedom.

The first section of To Strengthen the Family is devoted to dissecting the problem of pornography. Breaking the problem into carefully examined parts and drawing from a broad selection of respected resources, Hamilton thus enhances the understanding of the whole.

Hamilton spends a portion of this first section on the business of pornography. Money is the bottom line and the profit margin is the reason that pornographers and others that reap financial benefits from these types of industries so desperately seek to infiltrate as much of our lives as possible.

In addition to the straightforward manner in which Hamilton describes the various means by which the pornography industry strives to trap and addict adults, she details the ways in which the pornographers and those who utilize their social agendas and financial strategies target children as well, in the effort to ensure their profits well into the next generation. While the internet is among the most obvious of areas of operation, the most insidious of these efforts have to do with the erosion of public standards through traditional media outlets—movies, television and music.

“We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only obligation,” said Michael Eisner, CEO of Walt Disney Company, as quoted by Hamilton in her book.

There was a time when a child’s movie was meant for children. In the past, it was a great leap from an R-rated movie to a pornographic film. Today, it is a very small step indeed. As media for adults has become more saturated with violent and sexual material, it has filtered down into children’s media.

The recent movie, The Cat In The Hat (released after publication of Hamilton’s book), is a perfect demonstration of this. Based on the classic, childhood favorite by Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, this vulgar and disgraceful adaptation came out in November of last year. This is a book meant for preschoolers and early readers. Yet, rather than create a G-rated movie suitable for the children that would be most likely to beg their parents to take them to see it, those who brought this film into being made it a PG movie. And, for a number of reasons, parental guidance is highly recommended.

In this PG version of a book written for little children, the cat refers to a gardening tool with the words “you dirty hoe.” There are barely bleeped profanities, such as “son of a bleep.” The word “ass” is used. Aside from the crude and inappropriate language, there were double entendres and sexual references. Charles Taylor, in a review of the movie published on Salon.com, described one scene in which “a framed picture of the kids’ mother” opened up “like a centerfold, causing the Cat’s crumpled, striped top hat to shoot straight up in the air.” Paris Hilton, of sex-tape fame, makes a cameo appearance in the film, in a rave-party nightclub scene.

Paris Hilton, rather than suffering ill effects from the surfacing of the graphic tapes of her sexual behavior, pulled in 13 million viewers for the FOX network on the first night of the television show she starred in, The Simple Life, according to a December 3, 2003 report on RealityTVWorld.com. The final episode of the series ran on January 14. During its network run, the program aired at 8:30 pm, during what used to be the “family hour.” Hilton’s co-star in the program, Nicole Ritchie, soiled the public airwaves during the December 10 airing of Fox Television’s broadcast of the 2003 Billboard Music Awards. Alluding to her role as a Hollywood brat stuck in rural Arkansas in Fox TV’s The Simple Life, Ritchie said, live and unbleeped, “Why do they even call it the Simple Life? Have you ever tried to get cow s—t out of a Prada purse? It’s not so f—ing simple.”

Centerfold and sex jokes in a movie based on a book for children just learning to read? A prime time, family hour reality program starring a do-it-yourself porn star and a foul-mouthed brat? The conditioning and desensitizing start very early in the media world.

Hamilton describes desensitization as being disconnected from “the Spirit.” Secularists can substitute the word conscience. She writes that “the more children are exposed to positive entertainment, the more uncomfortable they will be around pornography and other inappropriate things.” She continues, writing that as parents, “we need to teach them that when they have uncomfortable feelings, it means the Comforter is trying to warn them, and that they can not afford to lose that sensitivity to the Spirit.”

This is an important technique, as it places a high and positive value on that ‘gut feeling’ that is common to all of us. It teaches children to trust their instincts—which have been carefully shaped by parents, as opposed to media—and helps to keep them safe not merely through a response to external controls, but by encouraging the development of internal controls and inner strength.

Hamilton also writes that ”children and youth need to know what it is like to feel the Spirit by doing things that produce love, joy, etc., and also, when it’s appropriate, they need to know what it’s like not to have the Spirit with them.” Some may take issue with Hamilton’s theology (Hamilton is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), but this is a useful concept because many terrible and dangerous things are glamorized in the media, especially in the media associated with youth culture.

Rap music, with its glorification of the pimp, unsafe sexual choices, street life and drugs, is a prime example. The over-sexualized and underdressed style of such pop-star pre-teen favorites like Brittany Spears and Christina Aguilera is another. Through community service, parent and child doing volunteer work together in organizations that help those affected by such lifestyles, a child can see the results of allowing that disconnect to occur.

Open communication, and thus teaching, about sexual matters, values and about pornography and its effects on the individual, family and society are strongly advocated by Hamilton. It is often difficult, as a parent, to gauge how much and what we should say to our children about these topics and when we should say it. Hamilton offers an excellent section with age appropriate teachings and topics of discussion.

Working on protecting a child from the inside out plays an important role, as it should, in To Strengthen The Family. However, Hamilton also provides a good deal of information and technical support—computer safety, computer operation and filtering systems—to keep children safe while those internal resources develop.

In addition, she offers suggestions and plans for people interested in taking direct action in their neighborhoods. She even offers model dialogues for those who are a bit shy or unused to speaking publicly on such matters, ranging from how to speak to a store manager about removing inappropriate magazines from children’s view to how to work with a local library to ensure that the books children have access to are not of an objectionable nature.

Concerning families that are struggling with pornography or the sexual abuse that so often is associated with the addiction to such materials, Hamilton demonstrates an admirable compassion and wisdom. She addresses specific situations, such as how to deal with the accidental exposure of a child and how to detect if a child or spouse may be caught up in addiction. She provides so much valuable information and such specific strategies, that the reader who is struggling with problems of this nature is sure to feel reassured and to know that the situation can be overcome.

“Every single one of us has to deal with pornography and its effects, whether consciously or unconsciously.” Thus reads a sentence on the back cover of Hamilton’s book. In our current media climate, this is true. To Strengthen the Family is an essential tool for doing so successfully. JoAnn Hibbert Hamilton is to be congratulated on a job well done.